Monday, August 18, 2008

So yesterday went pretty well - for the most part.

We ended up over at my aunt and uncle's house just around the corner from my grandmother's house. My one cousin was celebrating his 25th birthday and they had cake, cookies (that I made), and coffee for everyone. It was nice to sit around the table and talk with everyone. We used to this a lot when my grandfather was alive but ever since he passed, family gatherings have really diminished. It's kind of sad because it makes me realize my child - should I be blessed with one - will not really get to experience large family gatherings.

Anyway, we talked and laughed and then I asked if my other cousin's daughter is walking yet. She's going to be one in a couple weeks. And that's when things became a little difficult.

I should've been able to listen to the gush of the beautiful, happy baby with a huge smile on my face knowing that in a year and a half's time, people would be gushing about my almost-walking baby. Instead I had a smile on my face and tried not to think of what could've been or what would've been.

That's when they brought out the pictures and oh my what a genuinely happy baby! The smile on her face in every single picture makes everyone else looking at the pictures smile. You can't help it.

The grandparents and uncle (my aunt and uncle and other cousin) went on and on about how she's taking about 7 steps on her own before she plops onto the floor; about how she sticks out her tongue back and forth a couple times when they ask her to do a lizard face; about how she's got 10 teeth; about how she engages everyone whenever they go out to eat or anything.

And I listened and smiled and laughed and focused on the child they gushed on about, but found myself drifting a couple times. Thank god nobody asked when we were going to have a child.

The next couple of weekends are going to be quite interesting... we have a birthday party for one of my cousin's one-year old's this Sunday and another birthday party for the aforementioned cousin's one-year old next Saturday.

And then in three weeks, my birthday. I was intending to tell people around my birthday that we were having a baby in March. Not gonna happen this time around.

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