Friday, September 5, 2008


I didn't sleep well last night. I've got consistent cramps and lots of bleeding. And I stupidly didn't use tampons because I didn't think I was supposed to for my first period after the surgery. I don't know why I thought that and even S told me to just use them, but I didn't. So the bleeding and the cramps were pretty hard to deal with whilst sleeping and I actually woke up crying because I thought I had bled everywhere!

How old am I again?

Ugh. Today I'm wearing tampons. Fuck pads. I can't believe I went a good twenty years of menstruating with pads! I can't believe I didn't start wearing tampons until just about five or six years ago?! I don't know how I did it!

Anyway, enough of that.

S told me yesterday that I sounded better. He said I sounded like the sweet girl he fell in love with and married. Yeah, I've been pretty miserable the past month. First I had to deal with the loss, then the surgery, then healing. Then I apparently had horrid PMS... so much so that I apparently turn into a different person and actually sound different.

I believe him, too, because oddly I feel better about us today. I'm ashamed to admit that the last couple of weeks, I actually thought that I could leave my husband and just be by myself for the rest of my life!

Ack, it's just good to be back to me again and it's good that it's finally Friday!


Elfie33 said...

I didn't sleep well either. I'm glad your feeling better about things. *hugs*

Angie said...

It was so good to see you last night, even though we didn't talk much. ::hugs:: Happy Birthday!

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