Wednesday, May 13, 2009


One of the main reasons I know that I'm ready to be a mom is because of my nephews and nieces, but specifically because of my one nephew, Joey.

Joey just turned 17 on May 1st.

When he was 4 his parents (my brother is his father) got divorced. Joey cried when his mom left the house but mainly because she and his big sister were crying. My brother threw everything he had into Joey and his big sister. Everything. After a couple months passed, the siblings were spending a weekend with their mom and Joey came home but his big sister stayed with the mom. Joey was barely 5 then and he couldn't understand why he couldn't be with his sister and his mom. He cried and cried on more than one occasion over this. It was rather... disgusting, to be blunt.

Anyway, I moved in with my brother to help take care of Joey and his big sister until his big sister left. Then I just helped take care of Joey. And it was my absolute honor to be a part of his everyday life.

I was there for so many of his firsts, even teaching him a couple of his firsts... like tying his shoes and helping him read. It was an absolute joy.

But after about four years, I had to make the leap onto my own in the hopes that I could find someone to settle down with and hopefully start a family of my own. I wanted "a Joey" who would rely on me to nurture, love, teach him while he called me Mom instead of Auntie. I felt that I had so much love inside that I needed to share and I wanted to share it with a child.

Soooooo Joey just turned 17, like I said, and while we don't have every day contact like we did until about a year after I moved out, I still (and always will) hold a very dear piece of my heart for him and I like to think that I've done my job (and still continue to as well) as far as letting him know that I unconditionally love him, that I am always here for him, that I want nothing but the best for him, that I believe that he can do anything he put his mind to, that I know that he is a good human being and can make a positive impact in this world.

That said, I was quite distraught when I received a text message from him yesterday telling me that neither his "douche bag father" nor his grandfather had the "courtesy" to even send him a birthday card. Aside from me, he heard from not one person from this side of the family and he's very upset and hurt.

I know he texted me because he probably would've cried if he called me.

And my heart broke when I read the text and my blood started to boil and I started to cry.

See, Joey hit his adolescent years and started to rebel against his strict father - so much so that his father allowed Joey to move in with his mom... the first time since he was 4. That was just before Joey turned 13, about 4 years ago. And since then, my brother/Joey's father basically shut Joey out. He went from living and breathing for the boy to absolutely having nothing to do with him because Joey was rebelling and wouldn't listen and was getting in trouble. The horror!

Well, now my brother is expecting another child in just a month or so... another boy.

Isn't that awesome? Isn't it great that he gets to have another child when the first one he had sits thinking his father wants nothing to do with him because he can't even acknowledge him on his birthday?

Yeah, right!

It absolutely repulses me the way some people are granted the gift of a child and what they do with that gift, while others would do anything for that gift and treat it as such - a gift from God.



Angie said...

This is one of life's incomprehensible mysteries. I want to believe that there is a time and a purpose for everything, but I don't understand how someone can ignore one of their children--a precious, precious gift--and be blessed with another one.

I don't know. Maybe the purpose for all of this is so God can show you how much you are meant to be Mom, and that, my friend, is going to happen for you so, so soon.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Angie. I don't even know what to say. Wow.

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