That little thing called Knowledge

So today we're going to talk about basal thermometers and how they truly do work. They take your exact temperature without rounding, and they're *the* tool to use when trying to track ovulation. Fuck those OPK's. Fuck tracking your CM. Take your temperature around the same waking hour every morning and you will be able to figure out when you ovulate (after the fact, unfortunately) and when/if you're about to get AF or are pregnant.

It really does work!

If you're TTC, buy TCOYF and read it and follow it and practice what's described in that book. And if you do so, you will, possibly for the first time in your life, truly know and understand your body and how it works - as far as ovulating and shit, at least.

I charted my temps for about six straight months and each month I knew when I ovulated and I knew the day before AF came. It never failed. That number always dropped pretty significantly right before AF. Then when I got pregnant, I knew I could believe my eyes and the HPT. I knew it because the next week or so when I woke and stuck that basal thermometer in my mouth and took my temp, the numbers were still high.

It was glorious, really.

But after the d&c, I stopped tracking. I put everything away and submerged myself into a pity party that nobody else was invited to. And every month thereafter, I was left wondering if that was *the* month when I would get pregnant again. And every month I didn't take my temperatures, I was blindsided when AF showed.

All because of a stupid little basal thermometer.

This past cycle was going to be different, though. This past cycle we were moving up to bigger, more expensive things: digital OPK's. And after peeing on 14 expensive sticks and never getting a smiley face, I was left feeling quite deflated.

So I found that trusty, little ol' basal thermometer and took my temperature about three days ago, then the next. And it was high (for me). Maybe I did O super early and maybe, just maybe that temp would remain high for days and weeks to come! A girl can dream, right?

The third day (yesterday) I temped, my temperature dropped pretty significantly (from 98.04 to 97.54) and I knew what was heading into town. So last night when I went pee and saw some spotting, I wasn't surprised one bit. And this morning, when the spotting become a light flow, I wasn't blindsided like I have been the past 6 months. (Though I will admit that I'm a little... peeved... that this past cycle was 27 days long when the one prior was 43 or something?!? WTF, body??! WTF?)

I'm not happy about AF, but I'm also not upset, devastated, shocked, deflated. I'm just...not pregnant.

So the lesson today is that Knowledge truly is Power and every woman wanting to really know their cycle - whether or not you're TTC or TTA - should invest a whopping $10 on a basal thermometer and take their temp every morning before they get out of bed, before they speak.

Monday Musings

I'm not too thrilled right now.


I have cramps. :(

Grrrrr.

I'm on CD21. I'll probably be getting AF next week. I cannot believe I've been getting it now for 25 years. That's insane. I need a break from AF. I need to get pregnant and stay pregnant so I don't have to have her disrupt my life for a year or so. If that's not a reason to get ktfu, I don't know what is! ;) :D

The only bright side to getting AF this cycle is that I talked to S and he's on board with buying either digital OPK sticks or an actual monitor. I'm guessing we'll go with the digital sticks next cycle. And since he's on board, he can fork over the money and therefore cannot give me the "too much pressure" excuse for boinking me when I'm ovulating. ;)

In other news, I think my dad wants to be granddaddy to one of our kids. Sigh. He's been making little comments here and there. Last week when we were eating dinner at his place and were ready to leave, he said, "Why? You have to go home and take care of the kids?" S and I both ignored his comment because it's usually best to do so rather than get into an argument over the fact that he's "old and just has to say what's on [his] mind." Our ignoring didn't go off so well and he said it again and quickly added, "I mean your cats?!"

Of course I can be reading more into it than what's actually meant, but I don't think I am. I've got a pretty good read on people.

The other day at a hockey game, we were sitting in front of a mom with her two little ones - about 3 and 1. They were adorable and very well behaved. My dad kept elbowing me to "look how cute" the kids were and every time I felt my stomach churn. He has no idea how badly I want to be a mom.... how much I look forward to his pride and joy when he can hold another grandchild.... how terrified I am that he may be too old to enjoy it when/if we finally have a child.

It's kind of sad because I want to tell him that I was pregnant but lost the baby, but I don't think he'll 'get' it and frankly, I have no desire to explain it. And I sure as hell do not want to hear, "Oh well, it'll happen again" or "Well better luck next time." And knowing my dad, I can pretty much guarantee a stupid comment like that.